Abandon hope, all ye who enter

If you locate your doomer center,

You won’t remain a dissenter;

Doom cult costs the most:
You learn we’re all toast—
Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

Those codgers who think they’re so bright,
And who talk about doom day and night:
An old editorial
Since time immemorial—
But this time they’re going to be right.

It once seemed that we could depend
On forever as an unending trend;
While that turned out naive,
It's still strange to believe
That our species will come to an end.

The leopard does what leopards do,
We humans must do our thing too;
So have no regrets,
It’s as good as it gets,
And soon our time will be all through.

The way that our lives we have led,
And all that went on in our head—
How much does it matter
When poo starts to spatter
And humans will all end up dead?

Here’s a clue for those who are new:
Abandon all hope, say adieu;
For humans, life’s through,
Get used to that view—
You won't feel O.K. till you do.