Monday, October 29, 2012

Global Warming Ends It

Think we’re not hitting the wall?
Do the math, and you make the call;
Unless fatally cursed
By something else first,
Global warming’s the end of it all. 

Friday, October 26, 2012

On Nuclear Waste

Perhaps they were drunk, or drinking,
But somebody failed at linking
Making nuclear waste
With where should it be placed—
What the fuck were they thinking?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Ghost Story—Just in Time for Halloween!

‘Twas a dark and stormy night,
The kind that makes you feel fright,
When the earthquake hit
Where some fault plane was split
And began everybody’s plight.

Some rods, by the quake thus goaded,
Fell from where they’d been loaded:
They rumbled and tumbled
And crumbled all jumbled—
Then the whole thing exploded.

For those nearby when it struck,
The whole event didn’t suck:
No one felt sick—
Vaporization works quick—
The rest of world had less luck.

So back where this story began:
Getting scared was part of the plan;
But don’t worry your ass,
This won’t come to pass—
Unless there’s a quake in Japan. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Fuckit Slump

Oil’s running low at the pump,
Not due to some interim hump;
We’re ready to quit
‘Cause we don’t give a shit,
And we enter the Fuckit Slump.

Starvation hits, nobody’s plump,
Global warming beats on our rump;
When it doesn’t mean squat
That it’s getting too hot,
We’re into the Fuckit Slump.

Air wafts by a nuclear dump,
We inhale a plutonium lump;
Fresh air provides
To go with the Fuckit Slump.

It’s all of us, you’re not a chump,
The boiling frog still doesn’t jump;
Let’s be succinct:
We’re going extinct,
So we’re doing the Fuckit Slump.

H/T: comrade simba, Lexicographer of Doom

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


When we finally get a clue
That our way of living is through,
And we’re going to see hell,
We might just as well
Do what we’ve always wanted to. 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Why Prep?

If doom comes along step by step,
I’ll buy local or through online rep;
If doom’s really fast,
I know I won’t last—
So tell me, why do I prep? 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Doomer Craziness

People will think you’ve gone fey
When you start saying what doomers say;
They’ll see you as mad,
Which isn’t so bad
If you’ve always been sort of that way.

Monday, October 8, 2012


LATOC was an old time saloon:
Flying bottles, piano out of tune;
Overall raucous,
A grand motley caucus
Of genius and dumbass maroon.

Friday, October 5, 2012


If people knew more about nukes,
They wouldn’t think doomers are kooks;
They might change their mind
When they see they’re entwined
In a future with 400 Fukes. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Why Bother?

Why bother to sound the alarm
When nothing will save us from harm?
Do the math, you’ll conclude
That we’re totally screwed:
It’s over; we’ve all bought the farm.