Saturday, December 31, 2011

Kubler-Ross, Hope, and Human Extinction

“No matter the stage of illness or coping mechanisms used, all our patients maintained some form of hope until the last moment. Those patients who were told of their fatal diagnosis without a chance, without a sense of hope, reacted the worst and never quite reconciled themselves with the person who presented the news to them in this cruel manner. As far as our patients are concerned, all of them maintained some hope and it is well for us to remember this!”
  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying, p. 264

Hope tells us we are so clever,
There’ll always be human endeavor;
But with doom, we must guide
To what it’s applied,
‘Cause our species won’t live forever.

Human hope has always been spun
Into all kinds of jobs to be done;
Due to limited roles
When choosing our goals,
Never dying cannot be one.

People will always have hope:
We evolved it in order to cope;
But now where it’s attached
Must be thoughtfully matched
And be of more limited scope.

Our drama stirred much to enthrall,
But most roles were surprisingly small;
When we’ve finished our page,
We’ll exit the stage:
We're really just mortals, after all.

With no immortality bases,
We might find hope in other places:
Much more Here and Now,
More I-and-Thou Tao,
And probably lots more embraces.

Hope urges us to repress
Thoughts which will cause us distress;
But in truth, I confess,
Making do with much less
Will be just one big fucking mess.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Serenity Pitch

Life’s fast becoming a bitch,
So I hope to learn what I can ditch:
Accept things I can’t change,
Those I can, rearrange,
And wisdom to know which is which.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Plan for the New Year: Popcorn and Beer

If events in the coming new year
Interfere with your current career,
And you see cracks appear
In the social veneer,
It’s time for popcorn and beer.

The frontier ahead is severe,
But before we all disappear
And doom comes so near
That we really feel fear,
It’s time for popcorn and beer.

It’s getting abundantly clear,
Times will become more austere;
So while things still cohere,
Let’s all be of good cheer:
It’s time for popcorn and beer.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Solstice Reflection

The solstice brings time for reflection,
Like, how there’ll be no course correction:
We’re headed for doom,
Via whimper or boom,
With no way to change our direction.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Kubler-Ross Denial

Enjoy the first stage while you can,
It’s a relaxing part of the plan;
‘Cause next comes Stage Two,
When the anger breaks through,
And then real shit hits the fan.

Monday, December 26, 2011

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot
Like Christmas is going to be hot;
If your human-type meat
Can’t throw off the heat,
You might move to a cooler spot.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

So now the final time’s here
That ever we’ll share Christmas cheer;
On the other hand,
By popular demand,
We go through this every year.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Professional Advice

As your counselor, I’d like to say
What to watch out for today:
Alcohol’s bad,
And drugs are bad,
And doom's REALLY bad, m’kay?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Mental Fortitude

Your mind is more likely to plow
Through derision, and never kowtow,
And hold to your vision
With less indecision
If you’ve been crazy up until now.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Are Doomers Crazy?

When collapse ratchets up a few notches
And clobbers us square in the crotches,
Though I’m going down too,
The idea might come through:
Who’s crazy now, beeotches?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Nuclear Meltdowns

Someday the whole grid will fail,
And there won’t be a way to derail
The meltdown heat
Which will leave no retreat
To continue the human tale.

For plants still in operation,
Unexpected electric cessation
Of short duration
Could cause activation
Of radioactive damnation.

Each abandoned reactor, no doubt,
Eventually will start to spout
Stuff which can spread
And make people dead
Once electric power runs out.

If people would just pay attention,
We could stop our wayward invention,
But not those threats forming,
Like global warming,
And others too many to mention.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

South Park

In our world, doom options are many,
But if you don’t care for any,
Life in South Park is cool,
‘Cause there, as a rule,
The only one killed is Kenny.

Monday, December 19, 2011

If Methane Goes Nuts

If methane really goes nuts,
It will be a quick kick in the guts;
Though we might not agree
On the time and degree,
It’s coming, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Why Kubler-Ross

It’s not very easy admitting
We’re walking dead, right where we’re sitting;
But this issue’s the crux,
And, while facing it sucks,
It makes Kubler-Ross very fitting.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Methane Doomsday Machine

Methane releases might mean
The end of the whole Holocene:
We’ll become obsolete
‘Cause we burned stuff for heat
And triggered a doomsday machine.

Friday, December 16, 2011

There Will Be Panic

"...when the world recognizes—widely recognizes—that there’s a problem, there’s going to be panic that takes place."
—Dr. Robert Hirsch, at 10:37 in the interview:

The response will be galvanic
When there’s nothing to eat that’s organic;
And it’s last standing man,
People are going to panic.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Global Warming Inconvenience

The idea is pretty succinct,
Though it’s based on a lot of things linked:
Consensus is forming
We can’t stop the warming
So humans are going extinct.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Holiday Shopping

There’s not too much money to shop,
So it’s likely that sales are a flop;
That’s what scant new implies,
Because otherwise
We’d be hearing about it nonstop. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Limericks Save the World

We might save the world writing limericks
Listing our choice of survival picks,
Or else simply lurk,
‘Cause nothing will work
Unless you know of some other tricks.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Global Warming Treaty

A compromise starts off the gag,
But the road map could hit a small snag;
Should the protocol drag,
The treaty will lag—
It’s practically in the bag.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Nation of Homer Simpsons

"...we have truly become a nation full of Homer Simpsons."

What I’m doing at work isn’t clear,
But a crisis is nothing to fear:
If the plant starts to glow,
I simply say, “D’oh!”
And focus on donuts and beer.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Somebody to Blame

The poor say the rich are to blame,
The rich make the opposite claim;
If there’s need to deplore,
For those keeping score:
We all played a part in the game.

Friday, December 9, 2011


To better manage our fears
About aspects of doom as it nears,
It helps to steer clear
Of what won’t persevere
Or matter within a few years.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Global Warming Conference

Insisting on personal gain
Is why we’ll all swirl down the drain;
We're not worthy! No way!
Excellent! Way!
Party on, Garth. Party on, Wayne.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Comfortably Numb

Going out comfortably numb
Might beat feeling constantly glum;
Since resistance is futile,
It might be less brutal
A way to the world that’s to come.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Dear Europe: Urine Trouble

Lots of people are really pissed:
Europe’s cash problems still persist;
Wee tell them, “Urine debt”
(Not a piddling threat!)—
“Perhaps you should call a Eurologist.”

Monday, December 5, 2011

On the Awesome Power of Doomer Poetry to Save the World

“The pen’s mightier than the sword”—
A belief that’s been ofttimes explored;
But now, despite writing
(Which beats even fighting!),
We’re still going to our reward.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Why I'm Writing These Limericks

Some doggerel’s je ne sais quoi
Could go viral and wake the bourgeois:
Sneaking under defenses,
Unease it dispenses
Introduces a mind coup d’etat.

My goal’s not great poetry, nah,
But to wake the world from its blah-blah;
Then disaster gets waived,
And we are all saved.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Sixth Mass Extinction Event

Some people might circumvent
The worst, for some part of descent,
But our species can’t skirt
What none will avert:
The sixth mass extinction event.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Geologic Time

Our thoughts can get stressed, even twisted,
When geologic time is enlisted:
Our end’s almost here,
We’ll soon disappear,
Leaving no sign we ever existed.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Global Warming: Past the Tipping Point

The tipping point has been passed through,
There’s no way to stop what will ensue;
It’s baked into the cake,
And so it won’t make
Too much difference whatever we do.