Saturday, February 28, 2015

LIMERICKS OF DOOM—THE BOOK!

Limericks Update

Below are most of my more recent limericks (newest first).
==
==

Spock

The final frontier’s now in store,
With a strange new world to explore:
It’s a fascinating show,
So let’s all boldly go
Where no one has gone before.
==

Excursion to the Outer World

I more or less knew what I’d find
With non-doomer humankind:
Folks were feeling secure,
And were all pretty sure
I was out of my fucking mind.
==

Right vs. Might

The concept that right makes might
Isn’t quite logically tight,
Because fantasied “rights”
Are won via fights,
And in real life, might makes right.
==

Doomer Enlightenment

Initially only a rumor, 
Then denied with derision and humor,
It finally hits,
Your mind’s blown to bits,
And after that, you are a doomer.
==

Avoidance

Maybe the main reason why
We argue, talk nonsense, and lie
Is because that, for real,
We’ll most likely feel
Increasingly worse till we die.
==

It Is Coming

Extinction creeps closer each day—
The decay’s out on open display;
Though the worst’s held at bay,
It’s not so far away
That I’m feeling completely OK.
==

At 32:55 in this week’s prn broadcast, Pauline Panagiotou Schneider and Wendy Bandurski-Miller look forward to seeing Katie Goodman with Guy in New York:


We Didn’t Fuck It Up

Beasts of whatever IQ
Get born and die, eat, shit and screw;
Don’t blame me or you
For extinction’s snafu:
We just did what animals do.
==

Personal Meaningfulness

There’s no meaning to life I can see,
Except as we choose it to be;
So whatever you do
Might have meaning for you,
But it doesn’t mean jack shit to me.
==

Avoid Politics and Religion

If your dooming has only begun,
Don’t do some things I have done,
Like using distraction
To cut pain a fraction
In the house of the fast sinking sun.

Politics? Lies by the ton:
Sells you hope, but the changes are none;
That circus attraction
Won’t bring satisfaction
In the house of the fast sinking sun.

Religion? However it’s spun,
Brings fights when you’re just having fun,
From whatever faction
You trace your extraction,
In the house of the fast sinking sun.

So for you (but not everyone),
Do what still needs to be done:
Abyss interaction
Gives doom plenty traction
In the house of the fast sinking sun.
==

Nutcracker

Greedy with food is the gut packer,
Nasty with others, the butt smacker;
And nature’s not nice:
With our balls in a vise,
Doom is the ultimate nutcracker.
==

Nantucket Prepper

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who saw doom, and thought he could duck it;
Bean, Band-Aid and gun
He stored by the ton—
Then saw he’d still lose, and said, “Fuck it.”
==

Habitat

Humans are losing their habitat
‘Cause nature’s the last one that’s up at bat;
There’s no more to say
Except have a nice day,
It’s the end, it’s all over, and that is that.
==

At 3:37 Paul Ehrlich says: “How to avoid the nuts? Impossible.”

They Don’t Realize They’re Crazy

Oblivious minds running ruts
Are for guys with their heads up their butts;
Their twisted position
Blocks optic transmission
And that’s why they can’t see their nuts.
==

At 25:12 Paul Ehrlich says: “If you book passage on the Titanic, there’s no point in going steerage.”

Motto

If you’re traveling transoceanic,
Don’t go steerage on the Titanic;
Rather, shoot for the moon,
On account of quite soon,
You’ll degrade and become inorganic.
==

Psych

For dealing with doomer dismay,
There are options from Freud to AA,
Which sounds very nice,
But despite all advice,
You still have to find your own way.
==

Bring It

Extinction’s a natural state,
But the ways that we act while we wait
Human morals negate;
And based on our hate,
We richly deserve our fate.
==

At 1:03 in today’s NBL video, Guy McPherson says:
 “…every year…has been worse than the year before.”

In “The irreconcilable acceptance of near-term extinction” Daniel says: “…it’s only a question of time, before each of us consider life to no longer be worth living.”

Simple Logic

Once we no longer ignore
How likely it is we’re done for,
It’s, in doom’s paradigm,
Just a question of time
Till life ain’t worth living no more.
==

We Are All One

There are two kinds of folks, it’s been said
(In this world, where much bullshit is fed):
Those whose thinking has led
To extinction widespread,
And those who have not faced the dread.

But black, white, brown, yellow, or red,
We’re really one person instead;
So let Kumbaya spread,
‘Cause three decades ahead,
That person is going to be dead.
==

Today’s News Headlines

Who can track all of the fails
In this ending of all our travails?
Like, who new has lied,
And how many died,
And similar little details.
==

Almost two years ago(!), in “The irreconcilable acceptance of near-term extinction,” Daniel says:

“…NTE ends in only one of three ways for everyone: predation, starvation or suicide.”


NTE Options

Once you get it, that you won’t abide,
There’s still something else to decide:
Unfortunately,
The choices are three—
Predation, starvation, or suicide.
==

Doomer Prayer

In the time left before my last twitch,
There’s the things unimportant to ditch
And the things which are not;
I hope that I’ve got
The wisdom to know which are which.
==

It’s All Good

Some think we’ve done what we chose to,
And caused kingdom come, where doom blows to;
But energy and mass
Determine our ass,
And we just did what we’re supposed to.
==

Fuku Still Going Strong

Long after we’re gone, that excreter
Will be fouling the sea’s every liter;
But still, I must say,
It’s a small price to pay
For energy too cheap to meter.
==

Prediction

The denier made fun of his view,
And said, “There’s no need to feel blue”;
The doomer shot back,
“Things are all out of whack,
And someday you’ll feel like me too.”
==

Eh

The times are not pleasure anointed:
Everything’s fucked and disjointed;
If I were, to let’s say,
Not wake up the next day,
I don’t think I’d feel disappointed.
==

Bill Belichick and the Patriots Win! Again!

To get ahead, here’s what to do:
Stop being naive—get a clue!
You’d be much less pissed
From trying to subsist
If you would have been cheating too.

Our national sports—what’s the deal?
Who knows anymore what to feel?
Baseball’s steroid deceit,
Now in football they cheat—
Wrestling, at least, is still real.
==

Paris

Doomers should not underrate
Homo sapiens’ irrational trait:
The unthinking brutes
Won’t grasp overshoots,
Just blame folks they already hate.
==

Suddenly: Last Bummer

The time remaining is brief
Before abrupt end of our grief;
When the methane goes “boom,”
We escape from the doom,
And finally get some relief.
==

Dr. Strangelove


Extinction includes me and you,
And there isn’t too much we can do
Except, while Nature Bats,
Fall, waving our hats,
And yelling a big “Waaaaa hooooo!”
==

Guy McPherson says: “…fires like this planet has never seen.”


Nuclear Armageddon

When the grid goes down, life will get screwy:
People won’t go to work, they’ll say, “Phooey!”
But without pumps that throb
And folks on the job,
The world’s nuclear plants go kablooey.
==

Know Thyself

Because we’re now reaching the end,
There’s less of a need to pretend;
But the new doomer view
Showed myself to me too,
And it’s something I don’t recommend.
==

The Sixties, IMNVHO

Humanity’s apex was when
We were rich, and we understood Zen;
To transcendence we streaked
While U.S. oil peaked—
It’s been downhill ever since then.
==

Why Not?

It looks like we’re doomed to the max:
It’s all over, we’re getting the axe;
Since we’re going to hell,
We might just as well
Take off our shoes and relax.
==

Determinism Invalidates Blame

To deal with the world going blooey,
An idea which at first might sound screwy:
In a causal thought frame,
There’s no one to blame
‘Cause nothing can be causa sui.
==

Doomer Holiday Season

Each year the end seems so near,
We’re sure that we’ll soon disappear;
But despite all the tries
At contingent goodbyes,
The next year we’re still fucking here.
==

New Year’s Joke

Humans have always been clever,
So once we really endeavor,
We’ll forever be here:
We’ll adapt, and next year
Will be the best year ever!

Bwahahahaha!
Happy New Year everybody!   J
==

The Blind Men Were Irrelevant

Six Dooshistan men had in mind
That extinction’s cause they would find;
They thought that through thinking
They’d see their cares shrinking
Despite being mentally blind.

The first, the bag he was in
Had a heavy religious spin,
So the reason he picked
Wasn’t hard to predict:
“The problem is all due to sin!”

The second spake, “We’re going to tank
Because our economy shrank:
The future’s not sunny;
The reason is money,
And everyone trying to make bank!”

The third said, “We’re going to expire
From “advances” we didn’t require—
Like the planting of plants;
Now we’re pooping our pants
Due to agriculture and fire!”

The fourth quoth, “We’re feeling bereft
From oppression and government theft;
The reason things bite:
We’re too far to the right
(Or maybe too far to the left)!”

The fifth declared, “Life is complex,
And we’re into it up to our necks;
Our species’ extender
Lies trapped within gender:
The problem is all due to sex!

The sixth opined, “We’re down the drain
And the reason is perfectly plain: 
Folks are totally nuts,
Their head’s up their butts,
They’re psycho, and crazy insane!”

So each man played with his dong
And disputed on whose was most long;
Each thought he was right
But that changed not their plight,
Which made them all fatally wrong.
==

Anais Nin Revisited

And the day came, when doom was widespread
(Even worse, when looking ahead),
That the pain and the strife
Of everyday life
Was worse than remaining in bed.
==

Invictus

I’m pieces of atoms which flit
As chemical actions permit;
I’m not, as some state,
In control of my fate—
I ain’t the captain of shit.
==

With A Little Help From My Friends

Nobody around here pretends
Very much, as we come to our ends;
I face the unknown,
But I’m not all alone:
I get by with a little help from my friends.
==

Eppur Si Muove

Galileo said, “And yet it moves,”
To remind you and me it behooves
Us to base verbals acts
On observable facts,
Regardless of who disapproves.   
==

Yes, But

A planet that’s poisoned by jerks
Is one of those details that irks,
But nothing succeeds
At killing your weeds
Like Roundup—that shit really works!
==

Time to Go

Once we no longer deny
That it’s over, why should we lie?
Things will only get worse,
So it isn’t perverse
To talk about how we will die.
==

Artifact

And the day came when more and more woe
Piled up until humans said “D’oh!
‘Cause the increasing strife
Made the struggle for life
More painful than just letting go.
==

Extinction and Gender

Which sex caused the end of our run?
There’s no need to blame either one:
Whoever’s the jerk,
We’ll divide up the work,
And between us we’ll get the job done.
==

How Do They Do It?

Extinction is now guaranteed,
Yet some doomers watch it proceed
And can handle it well;
How? I’ve heard tell
They do it with Red Bull and weed.
==

Impossible Dream

If you’re obsessed with a quest
But find that you’ve given your best,
And have to conclude  SHOULD BE And you have to etc.
We’re still totally screwed,
It’s probably time for a rest.
==

What a Mess

To be happy is what we’ve pursued
Ever since evolution made mood;
But the odds that we could
Were never that good,
And with doom, we’re totally screwed.
==

Words

The brilliant words we have writ
Will all disappear once we’ve split;
And until then, we’re fools,
‘Cause the reptile brain rules,
So all of these words don’t mean shit.
==

Nobody Cares

He thinks that his rant is essential,
But results are inconsequential;
If he tries to insist,
People tend to get pissed—
This guy has got doomer potential!
==

Writing Drivel

Our world is too far askew
For changing the fact that we’re through;
There’s no point in a quest,
But when feeling depressed,
At least it’s something to do.
==

Doomer Morning Routine

I get up—a new day ahead:
Another day less till I’m dead;
I don’t care to bear
The world that’s still there,
So then I go right back to bed.
==

Little-Known Slogan from the Sixties

Some wisdom at times intervenes
In my usual dumbass routines
When fate has me recall
A short scrawl on some wall:
“Thou shalt not take part in bad scenes.”
==

 Doom and Social Disruption

The poor, who are barely maintaining,
Will notice their hope for change waning
When they’re more aware
That their unfair share
Won’t improve in the time that’s remaining.
==

How to Fix the Social Hierarchy Problem

Social hierarchy’s a flop:
It’s the cause of evil nonstop;
Still, things would work fine
If we kept the design,
But put me up at the top.
==

2. Anger

It’s normal to get in a rage
At the end of the Holocene age;
So when you’re feeling pique,
There’s no need to freak:
It’s only a passing Stage.
==

Anger Problem

Those shitheads, they’re so full of poo,
I hate every thing that they do;
But they’ll soon crap their jeans
‘Cause extinction now means
Those fuckers are going to die too.
==

Suffering and the End of Suffering

The end has already begun,
And our race has almost been run;
But once we’re deceased,
We shall be released,
With all of our suffering done.
==

Names and Addresses

“The earth is not dying. It is being killed, and the people killing it have names and addresses.”

Emotional thinking obscures
What overshoot always assures;
But if blame is your game,
There are people to frame,
And their names and addresses are yours.
==

Daniel Says A Mouthful—Again

Daniel says: “What the world needs now is not trite past paradigmatic hopium, but learning how to peacefully leave this life in light of the greatest unprecedented catastrophic era in human history.”

The Yeast Cells—Again

The yeast cells all had to concede
Their extinction was now a done deed;
To not be divided,
Know what they decided?
Jack Shit, that’s on what they agreed.

Killing became more widespread,
While some killed themselves instead;
And, being concise,
It wasn’t too nice,
Until the last yeast cell was dead.
==

You Can't Always Get What You Want

To the Chelsea drugstore I tripped
To fill your hopium script;
“Mr. Jimmy,” I said,
“Will this stop what we dread?”
“Dead” was the one word he quipped.
==

Titanic

If you ask what my role’s going to be
On the ship when there’s no escapee:
As far as I’ve planned,
I’m just in the band,
Playing “Nearer, My God, to Thee.”
==

A stopped clock:

“We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture…'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.”

Great Moments in Human History

We learned to produce daily bread,
But then we became too widespread;
And, looking ahead,
From the stuff that I’ve read,
Now we are all become dead.
==

Alarmist

I once worried life would decline
In the Gulf of Mexico brine;
But, save some small amount
Of folks who don’t count,
Everything worked out just fine.

I thought Fuku was a bad sign,
But no news suggests it’s benign;
Seems I overreact
To each small doomer fact:
Everything worked out just fine.

I almost was going to opine
This new virus would trigger decline;
But no doubt  Ebola
Is just more crapola—
I’m sure it will work out just fine.
==

How Animals Work

Creatures, by methods arcane,
Evolved different ways to maintain;
But all their perspectives
Reflect two objectives:
Pursue pleasure, and avoid pain.
==

The Arts

The arts, which description defy,
Which please both the ear and the eye,
Fixed beauty sublime
To last throughout time
Will soon disappear. Say goodbye.
==

"I Get A Kick Out Of Doom"

I get no kick from a tomb
(Though I’ll be there soon, I assume),
And I get no kick
From most sites I click,
Yet I get a kick out of doom.
==

We’re Not Writing For Posterity

Each day doomers meet one more dawn,
With words about what’s coming on;
Two days and a night,
No one reads what we write,
And once the grid goes, then it’s gone.
==

What If?

What if Ebola is “it”—
The end of the whole human bit?
When collapse starts to hit,
And we have to admit:
We really are in deep shit?
==

Eternal Art

The closer extinction nears,
The more of our life disappears;
But artistic endeavor
Will live on forever—
At least for a couple more years.
==

Success at Last

As soon as no humans remain,
Extinction will help us attain
Something long desired
But never acquired:
The end of suffering and pain.

H/T: Kathy Cassandra
==

“Resignation and Commiseration: We know enough to realize that this civilization is headed toward an imminent collapse etc., and finally realize that activism (blogging, preachin', demonstrating, rallying, and marching will not make a significant difference….”



Resigned

Presenting doom’s features combined
Most likely will get you maligned,
But I’m more inclined
To find peace of mind,
So that’s why I’m feeling resigned.
==

What Extinction?

The future’s just fine, I would think,
For those on extinction’s brink
Who like habitation
In nuke radiation
And don’t need to breathe, eat, or drink.
==

Guy Comes to California!

We give a big hello to Guy,
But also start saying goodbye:
We ain’t gonna lie,
The end is now nigh,
And soon we’re all going to die.
==

Old Days Was Better

Extinction comes near with the curse
Of making conditions adverse:
We used to be grooving
‘Cause life kept improving;
Now everything keeps getting worse.
==

Ode to Benjamin Libet

The reptilian old brain is whence,
As it turns out, decisions commence;
Then, to keep oneself sane,
The mammalian brain
Rationalizes that they makes sense.
==

It Takes a Village

Tribes, which we can’t recreate,
Are where we once learned to relate;
Our psychology and
Stuff we don’t understand
Evolved for that natural state.
==

Us, Them, and Happiness

We evolved for living in tribes,
But civilization prescribes
Confusions which stem
From who’s us and who’s them,
Reducing internal good vibes.
==

Molecules and Fate

Is there anything you can still trust?
Yes: molecules move as they must;
That’s always been true
And it’s what they’ll still do
Even after all humans go bust.
==

Overshoot
or
The Blind Men Were Irrelevant

Six Dooshistan men had in mind
That extinction’s cause they would find;
They thought that through thinking
They’d see their cares shrinking
Despite being mentally blind.

The first, the bag he was in
Had a heavy religious spin,
So the reason he picked
Wasn’t hard to predict:
“The problem is all due to sin!”

The second spake, “We’re going to tank
Because our economy shrank:
The future’s not sunny;
The reason is money,
And everyone trying to make bank!”

The third said, “We’re going to expire
From “advances” we didn’t require—
Like the planting of plants;
Now we’re pooping our pants
Due to agriculture and fire!”

The fourth quoth, “We’re feeling bereft
From oppression and government theft;
The reason things bite:
We’re too far to the right
(Or maybe too far to the left)!”

The fifth declared, “Life is complex,
And we’re into it up to our necks;
Our species’ extender
Lies trapped within gender:
The problem is all due to sex!

The sixth opined, “We’re down the drain
And the reason is perfectly plain: 
Folks are totally nuts,
Their head’s up their butts,
They’re psycho, and crazy insane!”

So each man played with his dong
And disputed on whose was most long;
Each thought he was right
But that changed not their plight,
Which made them all fatally wrong.
==

Advanced Study with Professor McPherson

Collapse and reduced biomass
Mean saying goodbye to your ass,
And autodidacts
Must learn lots of facts
To keep up with the rest of the class.
==

 “Homo Sapiens” = “Wise Ass Smarty Pants Man”

Up until now there’s been doubt
WTF this whole thing was about;
Sure, we’re all going to leave,
But that’s OK ‘cause we’ve
Pretty near got it all figured out.
==

Capitalism as Distraction from Overshoot

If you like, blame the corporation
As the cause of our species’ cessation;
Our overshoot blunder
Would occur the same under
Any social organization.
==

At
http://guymcpherson.com/2013/04/the-irreconcilable-acceptance-of-near-term-extinction/
which I humbly suggest you read immediately if you haven’t already, and maybe re-read if you haven’t lately,
Daniel says: “post-acceptance perspective”

Post-Acceptance Perspective

Seeing that any objective
You try will be ineffective
Is one of those steps
To include in your preps:
Post-acceptance perspective.
==

Hierarchy in Social Animals

There’s always been hierarchy—
Just look at your own family;
If your status were higher,
You still would expire
When doom comes, inevitably.
==

Politics as Distraction from Overshoot

Politics used as distraction
From extinction’s fatal attraction
Often helps introduce
A convenient excuse
For useless irrelevant action.
==

Radio Silence

Life could become hella great
If radio could alter our fate:
“Let’s not get delayed
‘Cause there’s folks to persuade!”
Oh, wait…it’s already too late.

Once it’s known doom already began,
That’s when the shit hits the fan;
So I’d appreciate
If you’d keep our fate
As secret as you possibly can.
==

Justice

Observe social hierarchy—it’ll
Explain why some crimes get acquittal;
Till overshoot we’re
Still doomed with it here:
Laws are for people who’re little.
==

Extinction Distractions

The key to improving your mind
Is avoiding distractions you find,
So focus on this:
Figure out how to kiss
Goodbye to your cherished behind.
==

Martha and the Vandellas
(Ah, weren’t they something? Wasn’t that a time?)

There was Dancing In The Streets nationwide
While we fought, or explored deep inside;
But the Heat Wave, we’re learning,
Means everywhere’s burning:
There’s Nowhere To Run or to hide.
==

Napa

Last night, just another earthquake;
Since extinction is baked in the cake,
Who knows, with doom’s curse,
Which is better or worse:
Being asleep or awake?
==

The Raven

I was studying quaint doomer lore
When some asshole knocked at my door;
I was weak, I was weary,
The midnight was dreary—
The raven quoth “Nevermore.”

“Your forgiveness I do implore,”
Said I, as I opened the door;
“Your faint goddamn rapping
Woke me from napping—”
The raven quoth “Nevermore.”

That bastard sat over my door,
And started to shit on the floor;
“Take thy beak from my heart,
And don’t even fart!”
The raven quoth “Nevermore.”

“Devil or bird, I implore,
Tell me—tell me some more:
Are doom’s secrets hid?
Is balm in Gilead?”
The raven quoth “Nevermore.”

The raven sits over my door,
And craps on my nice chamber floor;
That fucker’s still sitting
And won’t stop from shitting—
The raven quoth “Nevermore.”
==

SI MONUMENTUM REQUIRIS CIRCUMSPICE

If you’re seeking to get a profound view
Of what humans, ere they were downed, knew,
You’ll discover, decayed,
The mess that they made
By looking at all that’s around you.
==

What The Heck

Our world is getting too hot,
So we’re put in a terrible spot;
Since we cannot do squat,
Let’s connect the last dot:
Either we’re fucked or we’re not.
==

Why Acceptance Takes Time

Brain neural pathways require
Certain stimuli to rewire,
And rate limiting steps
In these chemical preps
All take time to transpire.
==

Priorities

Watching the world ‘round us shatter,
We engage in impotent chatter;
We thought we were smart,
But we’re falling apart,
And trying to make anything matter.
==

NTE Oscillations

Between different worlds we are swept
While we get mentally prepped;
This weird disconnect
Is what to expect
Cause extinction’s so hard to accept.
==

It’s The Overshoot

Overshoot needs no conflation
With problems of civilization;
Humans aren’t distinct:
Species all go extinct
Whatever their organization.
==

What To Do?

Our suffering grows more severe
Until when we all disappear;
Once you know this is true,
Why then, what should you do?
Enjoy it while it’s still here!
==

Sexual Cannibalism

If women thought it benign
That after sex they so dine:
To not be surprised,
Men would be well advised
To confine sex to porn sites online.
==

Where We Went Wrong

Was fire a tool way too strong?
Perhaps agriculture was wrong?
Since extinction’s the norm
For every life form,
We were doomed from the start all along.
==

Irrelevant

For sure, there’s a lot to deplore,
But also a lot to ignore;
Without getting annoyed,
I try to avoid
Shit that don’t matter no more. 
==

Big Mistake

You’ll be wanting to tear out your hair
From trying to make everything square
If thinking things through
From your point of view
Is thinking that life might be fair.
==

What Should I Do About Doom?

We decide without conscious thought,
Then rationalize what we’ve wrought;
So, no need to be stressed
About what gets addressed,
Plus: whatever we do comes to naught.
==

TPTB

Inequality we do condemn
And study: from what does it stem?
While claiming it’s strange,
We talk about change
And try to become one of them.
==

The Truth

NTE helps me feel free
To reveal (and you’ll maybe agree)
My own personal view
(And the one which is true):
Everyone’s wrong except me.
==

Might Makes Right

The dominant human asserts;
The submissive deals with the hurts:
Most get good relief
By maintaining belief
In imaginary just desserts.