Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Hierarchies often apply
When social animals ally;
The problems arise
When, to our surprise,
We find we don’t rank very high.

The birdies that peck in the trees,
Big gorillas, little ants and the bees,
Deer and elk with their racks
And wolves in their packs—
They all have hierarchies.

What’s your rank, in the groups where you roam?
You can say—we’re all facing the gloam;
There’s always a ranking
For who gets the spanking:
Who’s the alpha, when you’re back at home?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I’m heavily into denial
To preserve my sweet naive smile;
I could wait quite a while
For something so vile:
I prefer my current lifestyle.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Doomer Songs

(Not limericks, but ready for singing.)

               *               *               *

“Addicted to Doom” (“Addicted to Love”)

Your lights are off, there’s no more juice,
But you know how to cook moose,
You’re freaking out for goodness sakes,
Another post is what it takes.

You’ve got preps, doomstead complex,
You save dough, and old wrecks,
You chop wood, and save seed,
Another post is all you need.

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to the tomb, oh yeah,
Its closer to the truth to say we like to consume,
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to doom.

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to doom,
Might as well face it, you’re in for some gloom,
Might as well face it, don’t fuss and don’t fume,
Might as well face it, your preps must resume,
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to doom,
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to doom....

               *               *               *

“Clods” (“Clouds”)

Rights and Lefts and in-between, the batshit crazy and the Green,
And idealogues who get real mean, I've looked at clods that way;
But now they only spoil our fun, they becloud me and everyone,
So many things I would have done, but clods got in my way.

I've looked at clods from both sides now,
From up and down and still somehow,
It's clod's illusions I recall,
I really don't know clods at all.

Cognition yields to dissonance, the dizzy dancing way you sense,
And PO worry makes you tense, I've looked at clods that way;
But now it's just another show, you leave 'em crying when you go,
I’ve been there, and so I know, and that is why I say:


Tears and fears and feeling proud, accepting doom right out loud
Instead of fuzzy like a cloud, I've looked at clods that way,
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed,
Since it’s all ending soon, I’ve gained by living every day.


               *               *               *

“Doomer Queen” (“Dancing Queen”)

Friday night and your mood is low,
You know just the right pub to go
Where they say the right mantras, dealing with grief,
Looking to find relief.
You could die any day,
But that’s no reason for dismay,
With a bit of rock music, enter the trance,
Mind ready to advance,
And when you get the chance...

You are the doomer queen, not yet lean, from just rice and bean,
Doomer queen, somewhat clean, dig long pork cuisine (oh yeah!),
You know strife, pack a knife, seeing the end of your life,
Preps routine, stash unseen, you are the doomer queen!

      *               *               *

Dr. Pepper (jingle)

I’m a doomer prepper and I’m proud,
I’m part of an original crowd;
And if you look around these days,
There seems to be a doomer prepper craze!

I’m a prepper, he’s a prepper,
She’s a prepper, we’re a prepper,
Wouldn’t you like to be a prepper, too?
Be a prepper. Doomer prepper.

               *               *               *

“Liars Explain” (“Fire and Rain”)

Just yesterday morning they let me know oil was gone,
Drilling plans they made put an end to you;
My brain’s insane so I wrote down this song,
Didn’t know what the hell else to do.

I’ve seen liars, heard them explain,
They told us that the oil would never end;
I’ve seen “NO GAS” signs when I could not find my blend,
But I always thought that I’d see oil again.

Won’t you look down on me, Government, you’ve got to help me make a stand,
Or else I’ll consume right through another day;
My body’s aching and world’s end is at hand
And we won’t make it anyway.


I've been walking my mind to Stone Age time, the facts are so glum,
Lord knows when PO blows it’ll turn your head around;
There’s hours of time on the doomer line to post about things to come,
Circling drains, grains grown in oil on the ground.


We’ve got consumption levels to maintain,
Keep living in the fast lane,
Till no human remains remain....

               *               *               *

“Let’s Bomb the Moon” (“How High the Moon,” our moon, where they sent a rocket with a bomb)

Somewhere there’s wisdom
How faint the tune,
Somewhere there’s teamwork
Let’s bomb the moon;
We’re short on peace and love
We just never grew,
Till it comes true
That you bomb me and I bomb you,

Somewhere there’s wisdom,
It seems bizarre;
Somewhere there’s teamwork,
Not where we are,
The darkest night would shine
If sense would come to us soon,
It never will, we’re not that smart
Let’s bomb the moon.

               *               *               *

“Isn’t Doom Strange” (“Isn’t Life Strange”)

Isn’t doom strange?
How things rearrange!
A new point of view,
Bid the old adieu;
There’s not much time left,
Before we’re bereft,
Prepare for good-bye,
You know we’re going to have to die, die, die!

Wish things could be like they were,
Everything was a blast;
Wish we could live in the past,
Looking back where we were, and here we are.

               *               *               *

“Friday, Friday” ("Monday, Monday")

Friday, Friday, another day,
Friday, Friday, we always knew things would end this way;
Oh Friday morning, Friday morning couldn’t guarantee
That Friday evening you’d be drinking here with me.

Friday, Friday, we’ve gone astray,
Friday, Friday, great big doom is on its way;
By Friday evening, we knew quite well what was to be,
Oh Friday, Friday, we disliked what there was to see.

Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week marks decline, yeah,
So whenever Friday comes,
You can find me at doom sites all of the time.

Friday, Friday, ...

               *               *               *

“Doomer Website” (“Mr. Moonlight”)

You’re there for us, both day and night,
Give us a worldview that is new,
You open blinds and blow our minds,
As doom arrives we change our lives;
We now know decline, we think you’re fine,
‘Cause we love you, Doomer Website.

Doomer Website, when we’re with you,
We do better than we would otherwise do;
And when we’re not online,
We fret and we pine,
‘Cause we love you, Doomer Website.

               *               *               *

“An die Freude” (“Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s Ninth, translated)

Freude, schöner Götterfunken
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder,
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

On Doom

Doom! Oh dying spark of knowledge,
Daughter of the Underworld;
We are fin’lly all burnt out now,
Hell-bound with our flags unfurled!
Overshoot will disunite us
And we are so very screwed;
All men will do in their brother,
When long pork becomes their food.

               *               *               *

“Purple Haze”

Acid rain all in my brain,
Lately things don't seem the same:
Lack of oil, starvation, crime—
Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?

               *               *               *

“Season of the Witch”

When I look out my window,
Many PO sights to see;
And when I look in my window,
A PPO person to be,
That it’s strange, so strange....

When I look over my shoulder,
What do you think I see ?
Some other cat looking me over
Will I eat him or he eat me?
And it’s strange, sure is strange....

               *               *               *

“Soylent Night’ (“Silent Night”)

Soylent night, taste delight,
Grab a fork, eat long pork!
Round steak, thigh steak in locker stockpiled,
Brains and kidneys—so tender and mild!
Sleep in seventy pieces,
End up as meat, bone, and grease.

               *               *               *

“I’m a Fan of the Doom Game”  (“Take Me Out to the Ballgame”)

I’m a fan of the doom game,
I’m in that flaky crowd,
Buy me some booze and some pot—and crack!
I know that we will never come back;
And it’s root, root root for the home team,
They win, they lose, it’s the same,
For it’s one, two, nuclear strikes
At the old doom game.

               *               *               *

"They All Laughed"

They all laughed at Matthew Simmons,
When he said most oil was found;
They all laughed though less was in the ground.
They all laughed at Limits to Growth
Warning that we might die.

They thought Jay
Hanson went astray,
It’s the same old cry;
They laughed at us knowing doom,
Said “Let’s bomb the moon!”
But doom, it came through,
Now they’ll have to change their tune.

They all said that never would we see doom,
But it’s coming now, and how!
So ho, ho, ho!
Who’s got the last laugh now?

They all laughed at the LATOC website,
Now it’s too late to get in;
They all laughed at what they thought was “Peak Oil spin;”
They all laughed at Kunstler and at Heinberg,
Hubbert and Matt Savinar.

Matt and his mods,
Fighting troll squads,
That’s how people are;
They laughed at us knowing doom,
They decided to deny,
But doom, it came through,
Now they’re eating humble pie.

They all said that never would we see doom,
But it’s coming now, and how!
So ho, ho, ho!
Who’s got the last laugh?
Hee, hee, hee!
Don’t at the past laugh,
Ha, ha, ha!
Who’s got the last laugh now?”

               *               *               *

“Tiny Bubbles” (for when the sea level rises)

Tiny bubbles
Flood the land,
Leaving us no
Room to stand.

Tiny bubbles
Make us wet all over
With a feeling that we’re not gonna
Last till the end of time.

So here’s a glass to doom
And to all that will never be,
And mostly here’s a toast
To you and me.


               *               *               *

“When You’re Hot, You’re Hot”

When you’re hot, you’re hot,
When you’re fucked, you’re fucked.
La la la la la la la
When you’re fucked, you’re fucked.

               *               *               *

“Will Doom Still Be Here Tomorrow?” (“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?”)

You try to wonder discretely
If we are fiznucked completely;
Tonight the fright of doom is in your eyes,
But will doom be here tomorrow?

Is this prep part of your treasure,
And does it give you pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of its size,
Will doom still be here tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken,
You said that we are all undone
But will my heart be broken,
When we’re trapped, nowhere to run?

I’d like to know that your dread
Remains when I lock down my doomstead;
So tell me now and I won't ask again,
Will doom still be here tomorrow?
Will doom still be here tomorrow?

               *               *               *

“Wonderful Copenhagen” (where there was a conference on global warming)

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town,
If this is the end
No need to pretend
Let us clink and drink one down,
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Here's what we're going to see:
The decisions there
Add to our despair
Singing Copenhagen, wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen for me.

               *               *               *

“S.T.F.U.” (“Y.M.C.A.,” for trolls)

Peace out, just because you feel down,
I said, we know, P.O. gave you a frown,
I said, cool it, ‘cause you’re in a new town,
There’s no need to be so snappy.

You know, there are other websites,
You might go there, maybe pick up some fights,
You could stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many people of the same mind.

So I’m telling you, S.T.F.U.
It’s not because you’re new, S.T.F.U.
They have everything for trolls to enjoy,
Many people to annoy.

Yes, I’m saying you! S.T.F.U.
Comon, you know it is true, S.T.F.U.
Now here’s the appeal: you can be where you’re real,
You can spew anything you feel.

Quiet, are you listening to me?
I said, hush up, or you’ll get a knee,
I said, squelch it, don’t you want to see?
But you got to know this one thing!

No one does it all by them self.
I said, stiffle, put your pride on the shelf,
And just zip it, just S.T.F.U.
I’m sure you will find that you grew.

There’s more to chew, S.T.F.U.
Than you ever knew, S.T.F.U.
They have everything for trolls to enjoy,
Many people to annoy.

That's what you should do, S.T.F.U.
You're so full of poo, S.T.F.U.
Now here’s the appeal: you can be where you’re real,
You can spew anything you feel.

Hey friend, I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was down and out with the blues,
I thought no one but I saw the trend,
I felt the whole world was to end.

That’s when LATOC came up to me,
And said, “Silence! Here’s the way it will be,”
Then I knew that of course it was true;
I’m sure that you can do it too!

Now let’s review: S.T.F.U.
Your vows renew, S.T.F.U.
They have everything for trolls to enjoy,
Many people to annoy,

If you like our crew, S.T.F.U.
Peace out, just because you feel down,
I said, we know, P.O. gave you a frown,

We use shoe goo, S.T.F.U.
For sneaker renew....

Business Rules

In days of old, people feared God,
And obeyed His rules, even when odd;
But since our god’s Mammon,
Why don’t we examine
The source of our current facade?

It turns out, not so long ago,
Burning carbon came to bestow
A new guiding meme
By which we would deem
That to feel good, one had to grow.

Business became the trend setter,
Which led to a cult of the debtor;
This misapplication
For seeking elation
Did not make us feel a lot better.

We constantly try to feel good
But the way there’s not well understood;
It’s not even clear
That we can get near
Only doing the things that we should.

Our internal state, we deduce,
Comes from chemicals which we produce
By things that we do
To beef up our stew
Of good neurotransmitter juice.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Addiction Is Bad, M’kay?

Addiction is oh, so confusing,
Gambling, not eating, and boozing;
It’s what bad people do,
What we should eschew,
When choosing a view for our musing.

At bottom is tissue distress
Which nerves signal us to address;
It makes us feel bad
Or even go mad,
How that works is anyone’s guess.

And then when we suffer malaise
We address it in various ways,
But we deal with the threat
By learning to set
The right neurotransmitters ablaze.

When our inside chemistry’s sad
We try things to make us turn glad:
Physical actions
And mental abstractions,
To make ourselves not feel so bad.

Our behavior develops constriction
Into habits formed out of conviction;
If we have a routine
Then what lies between
Our habits and sinful addiction?

Oil use wasn’t addiction
Till we learned about peak oil affliction;
Driving drunk wasn’t bad
Until we got MADD:
Outside forces shape our conviction.

The bad part is not use compunction
But the way that it causes dysfunction
Which the body directs,
Or else from the effects
Of the ruling class’s injunction.

Morals can cause us to stray
From seeing things science’s way;
The thing to recall
From all of this scrawl
Is addiction is bad, m’kay?

Friday, September 2, 2011

Thought Control

We’re atoms which all interlink,
And our thoughts are just neurons in sync;
Then who’s in control?
Our hubris is droll:
We can’t even control what we think.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


Determinism helps ease my cares,
But there are other approaches—like prayers;
The beliefs I assume
Calm my fears of doom,

Just as everyone else’s calm theirs.

               *               *               *

With planet earth ready to char,
The way things work might seem bizarre;
Looking closer we see
That things couldn’t be
Any different from what they are.

Existing energy and matter
Move by laws more strong than mere chatter;
The way they’re arranged,
Things cannot be changed,
Even though, for us, poo starts to splatter.

From Buddhist, and other traditions,
If we knew everything’s positions
Plus direction and speed,
We’d have all we’d need
To predict, based on prior conditions.

Physical laws all ensure
There’s a way we can still feel secure:
Fate sets what we get,
So have no regret:
Our paths in life make no detour.

If the Big Bang restarted somehow
The same way, it would build and endow
All the same designs:
You’d be reading these lines
Exactly the way you are now.

So it’s earth to earth, dust to dust,
But despite all of this I still trust,
Though for us things are worse,
That the whole universe
Is unfolding just as it must.