Happy Doomer New Year 2014

In past years, we, as ever, perverse,

Joked “If we’re still here” as some curse,

But now it appears

That we’ll be here for years,

An outcome that’s probably worse.

Happy New Year!   :D

Point and Laugh

When faced with some quixotic gaffe

From deniers too bonehead by half,

One way to not let

It get you upset

Is to point and laugh, just point and laugh.

H/T: rbrgs

Merry Doomer Christmas

Sharing our year-end review

Always served to remind us anew

That we could get hit

With this end of world bit

So it might be the last time we do.

Next year, if the fates permit,

We’ll be gone, save for our obit;

And, unlike hitherto,

We won’t have to go through

Another year more of this shit.

Merry Christmas!  :D

In The News Lately

Affluenza
or 
Laws Are for The Little People

Once doom—and the end—come on strong,

The masses see more what was wrong

With the system, their niche,

How they were its bitch,

And how bad they got fucked all along.

==

Duck Dynasty

With scapegoats in public maligned

By hate, we historically find

That words and abstraction

Can soon become action

And murder’s not too far behind.

==

Scapegoating Index

Increased hardships for surviving

Means more intertribal striving

And scapegoating hate

Which might help adumbrate

Just how quickly doom is arriving.

Beatles Medley

Fixing a Hole

Doom will no longer delay,

So I'm taking the time while I may

For whatever life brings

And a number of things

That weren't important yesterday.

==

The Fool On The Hill

The doomer’s considered a clown,

A silly one, wearing a frown;

But he knows we’ll be dead,

And the eyes in his head

Can see our world going down.

==

Merry-Go-Round

(Watching the Wheels)

It was fun at first, then I said no

To an act in some go-nowhere show,

‘Cause one day, pretty quick,

I got dizzy and sick,

And I just had to let it go.

==

Eleanor Rigby

Eleanor lived in a dream:

Used denial to boost self-esteem;

Wrestling doom set her free

To be able to see

Who she was, not what she might seem. 

The Green Man

After we nourish the ground,

Other species of life will rebound,

And cheering them on,

Long after we’re gone,

The Green Man will still be around.

H/T: ashmeadkernel

How Extinction Is Changing Our Worldview

Future References

Once you no longer sit on the fence,

Allusions to future events

Begin to look moot,

No longer compute,

And start making less and less sense.

==

AGW and Meltdowns End It

Our various doomer room chatters

Are listing the ways the world shatters,

But since we can’t beat

The nukes and the heat,

None of that other stuff matters.

==

Guilty Secret

I read some new bummer’s occurred,

And I should have my empathy stirred;

Yet sometimes I laugh,

Which I know is a gaffe,

But the whole thing’s so fucking absurd.

==

Gaia, Suffering, and Human Extinction

Extinction might be Gaia’s cure

From humans and all their manure,

But, in any case,

When we vacate this space,

Our suffering will end for sure.

You Maniacs! You Blew It Up!

Looks like we’re too late to ban it,

‘Cause, all the way down to the granite,

It’s time to admit it,

We finally did it:

Honey, we blew up the planet. 

Hooray for Deniers!

Deniers keep kicking the can,

Helping doomers, as part of fate’s plan:

Though we’re just a few,

When they’re doomers too,

That’s when the shit hits the fan. 

The Upside of Extinction

The Upside of Extinction

What turns out unstoppable then

Might occasion some grand Amen,

Because when it’s done,

It means that no one

Will ever suffer again.

H/T: Kathy Cassandra

(Moved here from previous post.)

==

More Upside of Extinction

Doom overall’s about grief,

But, much like a fart or a queef,

Effects that are mental,

Although incidental,

Will also include some relief.

==

Better Living Through Chemistry

Extinction won’t leave any heirs

To the suffering humankind shares;

Plop plop, fizz fizz,

What relief it is!

Released from all of our cares.

==

Suicide or Euthenasia?

Extinction we’re causing worldwide

Might be thought of as suicide;

But if ending the pain

Is seen as humane,

Euthenasia’s what’s being applied. 

More Negativity

Control

How much of our life we create

Has been a longstanding debate;

But when closely reviewed,

Doom should have us conclude

That we’re not in control of our fate.

==

We Are Like Snowflakes

As what you alone thought and felt

Because of the cards you were dealt,

Doom’s right path for you

Will be unique too;

And also, we’re soon going to melt.

==

Think of the Children

If children not born knew they’d grow

In our world so chock-full of woe,

And if option they got

To go through it or not,

They’d probably answer, “Fuck no!”

==

Attaining Acceptance

I’m working real hard to create

A way to accept our fate;

Pursuing that shit

Prob’ly won’t help a bit,

But it’s something to do while we wait.

When Doom Hits Me

It would help, I thought, when times got rough,

To stock booze and similar stuff;

But that time is past:

For how long I will last,

Two or three bottles should be enough. 

Doomer Resigned

It turns out we’re not going to find

Any way out of our bind,

So I’m off the hook

From having to look—

Whew! That’s a load off my mind. 

Misfits

Deniers who plumb crazy call

Those misfits announcing our fall

Will find it quite strange

That with habitat change

It turns out that we’re misfits all. 

Depression

Depression

Watching the fan turning brown

Changes a smile to a frown:

Abandoning schemes

Like our hopes and our dreams

Tends to bring people down.

==

Indisposed

People are into denying

How everything’s going to be frying;

One reason they’re giving:

The long habit of living

Indisposeth us for dying.

H/T: Sir Thomas Browne

==

Readers’ Comments Show Doomer Bargaining Useless

http://dailycaller.com/2013/10/23/doomsday-professor-were-all-gonna-die-by-2040-from-global-warming/

If you still think we’ll stop our fall,

Look over that ignorant scrawl;

We continue to cope,

But there’s no fucking hope—

No fucking hope at all.

==

What Should I Do?

Doom’s coming, what should I do?

Do the math, let it in, get a clue,

Get it into your head

We’ll all soon be dead,

Accept that it’s over—we’re through.

==

Was It All Worth It?

Efforts to live may redouble

But still make our habitat rubble;

There was more work than fun,

And now that we’re done,

At least it’s the end of the trouble.
==

Goodbye

No matter how hard we try,

It turns out we’re all going to die;

With no reason to lie,

Causal science tells why

It’s the end of the world. Say goodbye.

Rational Animals: An Oxymoron

What logical reasoning gave

To us since we came out of the cave

Sure got lots of ink

And changed how we think

But not the way we behave. 

Moods

Doomeritis

I’ve come down with some kind of “itis”

From dealing with doomer detritus;

It just lately appeared

And it makes me feel weird:

I guess I’ve got doomeritis.

==

My Dismal Place

Viewing this mess in totality

With unemotional neutrality

Might help us to face

What’s in doom’s dismal place

(Which BTW looks like reality).

==

Why I Am A Doomer

I tend to be kind of depressed,

But doom picks me up when I’m stressed:

Its mood’s not so fine,

But it’s better than mine,

So it gets me back feeling my best.

==

It’s Easier When You Are Old

Old age, while sometimes a curse,

Makes doom seem less strange and perverse:

Things that once worked O.K.

Get fucked up every day,

And tomorrow is looking still worse.

==

These Are The Good Old Days

Make hay while the weather is sunny,

Make jokes, and maybe some money;

‘Cause one of these days

We’ll run out of delays,

And this dying thing won’t be so funny. 

Extra! Panic Room Opens To Rave Reviews!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/628659907172309/

Dante explains how to cope
When hope’s always answered by “nope”:
“In the Panic Room,
It’s safe to assume
Ye who enter abandon all hope.”
==

The T-101 came on track
For a hasta la vista attack;
He found out instead
That he liked what he read,
And on leaving, he said “I’ll be back.”
==

“Panic Room knows that we’re screwed,”
Said Einstein, “so we must conclude,
Though things couldn’t be worse,
Infinity’s perverse,
And makes everything relative, dude.”
==

“The Panic Room cuts like a knife
To the marrow of all the world’s strife”;
Then, empty of mind,
The Buddha opined,
“It’s suffering, but then, that’s life.”

Guilt Assuager

Some say that the bad things we do

Kill nature—it might not pull through;

To deal with the guilt,

I say, that’s how we’re built,

And we’re part of nature too.

Behavior that’s not up to par

Did not cause this mass au revoir:

We’re still just a niche

In nature’s world, which

Evolved us to be what we are.

Our world is about to combust

For reasons we might think unjust;

Nature’s causal chain

Helps to explain

Why the universe moves as it must. 

The Blossom

And the day came when the dread

Of all of the problems ahead

Outweighed any gain

And delivered more pain

Than the risk of staying in bed.

H/T: Anaïs Nin

One Wrong Move

The fuel removal at Unit 4 is said to be the toughest and most dangerous operation for TEPCO; one wrong move could result in horrific quantities of radiation being released into the atmosphere or cause an explosion many times worse than the original disaster. 
http://rt.com/news/fukushima-tepco-us-aid-139/

If TEPCO makes one wrong move,
You’ll abruptly discover that you’ve
Got big pickup sticks
With MOX in the mix
Of a mess which you won’t watch improve. 

Wintertime Blues

Ceres once mor wilt now Beare

The los of her Dohtor so faire

Dark Pluto dost sumon

So Winter’s icumen

And waxeth the Dumers dispare

The Ocean Is Broken

http://www.theherald.com.au/story/1848433/the-ocean-is-broken/?cs=2373

We burst on that silent sea,

All dead and filled with debris:

As life’s sacrificed,

The deep rots: O Christ!

That ever this should be!

H/T: Samuel Tayor Coleridge 

More Fuku Follies

Fuku Bookie

TEPCO, that outfit of clods,

Is going to be moving the rods;

So lay down your dough

On which day she’ll blow,

And ask for my updated odds.

==

Fukuwatch TV

Watching, with danger so undisguised

Would hardly need to be advertised:

If a dropped rod goes clank

And then the screen’s blank,

The end of the world might be televised.

==

The Profit

"...Tepco is under pressure to post a profit in the year to March 2014 under a turnaround plan Japan's top banks recently financed with $5.9 billion in new loans and refinancing...."

http://news.yahoo.com/special-report-help-wanted-fukushima-low-pay-high-050626106--sector.html;_ylt=A2KJ3CWM8WpSzGkAJRDQtDMD

And somebody or other said, “Speak to us of Doom.

And he replied:

Doom is just one of those fads,

But profit is timeless. And lads:

Since profit is key,

Better not disagree,

Or I’ll kick you right square in the nads.

==

Fuku Homer

I’m moving the rods, don’t you know?

If I drop one, look out below;

Watch me lift the debris:

All these buttons—let’s see—

I think I’ll push this one. D’oh!

Ode on SFP 4

I like to stay bundled up tight

In warm comforters at morning’s light,

But I must go online

To find out if it’s fine

Or it blew up during the night.

Fukushima Follies

Fuel Rod Olympics

In this new event, the key

Is who moves the most debris;

The chance of mistake

Will keep us awake

Watching the ads on TV.

==

Paranoid Pete Sez

The engineers who were smart

Decided not take part:

They looked for a bit,

Then said, “Fuck all this shit—

It’s hopeless right from the start!”

How I Became A Believer

Despite some careful dissections,

I couldn’t find cause for rejections,

And with so many forces

On hellbent doom courses,

I simply ran out of objections. 

Chatter

We’re sitting here taking our ease,

And saying whatever we please;

Though we can’t change our fate,

We still like to relate:

We’re monkeys chattering in trees. 

Old Wine, New Bottle

Old wine LXXIII

With Earth's first Clay They did the Last Man knead, 

And there of the Last Harvest sow'd the Seed:
And the first Morning of Creation wrote
What the Last Dawn of Reckoning shall read.

New bottle LXXIII

With the Big Bang, it first was decreed

How things from then on would proceed:

What flew when and where

Fixed fate then and there,

Like your take on these words you now read.

H/T: Omar Khayyam, of course

Tokyo 2020

It’s not too much risk to proclaim

Japan hosts the Olympic flame:

This ain’t no joke, yo,

If there’s no more Tokyo,

There’ll be no Olympic game. 

Only Acceptance Remains

Studying nature explains

The uselessness of our campaigns;

When no fix is left,

We’re completely bereft,

And only acceptance remains.

Twelve Step Wisdom

Step 1

With doom info now obtainable,

Our powerlessness is explainable;

That’s why this is it:

We have to admit

Our lives have become unsustainable.

 ==

Bottoming Out

There’s a great deal to learn all about;

Until then, you’ll naturally doubt,

But the stuff that you spout

Will become more devout

After you’ve bottomed out.

Bottoming out often clears

The ear canal through which one hears:

Doom, once it’s gotten

Makes folks move the cotton

To their mouths, from out of their ears. 

H/T: Mike k @ NBL

Prepping for SFP4

I hope you’ve found time to explore

The inconvenient chore

Of trying to think through

Just what you will do

Prepping for SFP4.

Fukushima’s had missteps galore

By clowns unexposed heretofore

For not being prepped

And for being inept

With problems they tried to ignore.

One day, there’ll be a big roar

Which starts from some melting core

Or from spent fuel rods,

And there’s pretty good odds

That stuff will being flowing offshore.

To whom will you turn and implore

For help from the poisonous ore?

With whom will you cry

When you say goodbye

In calls to those you adore?

Enough horror; let’s underscore:

It’s good if you have in store,

A plan of compassion

In what future fashion

You won’t be around anymore.

H/T: Kathy Cassandra at NBL

Related:

The Ballad of SFP4

http://benjaminthedonkey-limericksofdoom.blogspot.com/2012/05/ballad-of-sfp4.html

Coming Soon: The Big One in Fuku

http://benjaminthedonkey-limericksofdoom.blogspot.com/2012/05/coming-soon-big-one-in-fuku.html

Ghost Story—Just in Time for Halloween!

http://benjaminthedonkey-limericksofdoom.blogspot.com/2012/10/ghost-storyjust-in-time-for-halloween.html

Stage 4 Doom

You might think your mind’s going to flip,

But depression’s a stage you can’t skip;

Though this might come across

As just more Kubler-Ross:

It will pass, and it’s part of the trip. 

Quantitative Easing

Viewed from a doomer vicinity,

We can print more of our divinity,

‘Cause, being succinct,

We’ll all be extinct

Before it reaches infinity. 

Tribal Living

Get Real

We evolved human social foundation

Within a small tribal formation,

But we’re socially fluent

In ways incongruent

With industrial civilization.

==

When We Were Tribe

Life had a much better vibe

In old times, from what they describe;

It’s for what we evolved,

And we now leave unsolved

Improvement on when we were tribe.

==

Authenticity

In tribes, people learned how to deal

With each other, but lately we feel

Disorientation

From civilization,

And that’s why we don’t feel so real.

Don’t Fry the Sea, Fukushima

Fukushima and Extinction

Every serious doom connoisseur

Thinks over what end they’d prefer;

Radiation’s spread

Might not make us all dead,

But it could make us wish that we were.

==

Canute the Great and the Wall of Ice

King Canute showed his limited might

Using water, which seeks its own height;

TEPCO, I’m guessin’,

Will learn the same lesson,

And never get Fuku fixed right.

==

Wall of Ice

Even a dumbass would know

That the dam must soon overflow;

A big wall of ice

Might look very nice,

But how long till people say, “D’oh!”?

What do they think can be won?

Maybe time to get used to doom’s gun,

And accept the idea

Of no panacea:

There’s nothing that can be done.

==

From "The Wall": Another Cube in the Wall Part 3

I’ve seen the wall-written scrawl—

Nothing will help now at all;

You can pile on more ice,

But here’s doomer advice:

It’s all just cubes in the wall.
==

Living on the West Coast

Though the west coast is where I reside,

I’m not worried about getting fried:

What makes people dead

Is going to spread,

And there’s nowhere to run or to hide.

== 

Sooner or Later

It seemed the whole world might go splat

When Macondo was Nature at Bat;

But if not by Fuku,

We’ll be hit with doo-doo

The next time, or one after that.

Why There Is Suffering In The World

Amebas do not remain

Where noxious stimuli reign;

We learn to refrain

From what doesn’t sustain—

And that is the reason there’s pain.

What To Do?

Kathy Cassandra says: So there you have it – to save the planet from global warming we need to end industrial civ and precipitate the inevitable dieoff. But to end industrial civ means a world flooded with radiation on top of the peak oil die off.

http://guymcpherson.com/2013/09/a-last-hoorah-on-my-way-out-the-door/#comment-94103

Dilemma

Theoretically, we might reverse

Either nuke plant or global heat’s curse,

But, quite unexpected,

Once one is selected,

It makes the other one worse.

==

No Exit

Industrial civilization

Means global warming cremation;

But without modern factors

To cool nuke reactors,

We’ll die, instead, from radiation.

==

Decisions, Decisions

If we tear down the nukes brick by brick,

World heat would rise up way too quick;

But without decommission,

There’s nuclear fission:

Let’s hope we can make the right pick.

(H/T: Woody Allen, of course)

Tokyo 2020

Prime Minister Abe said: “Some may have concerns about Fukushima. Let me assure you the situation is under control. It has never done and will never do any damage to Tokyo. It poses no problem whatsoever. There are no health related problems until now, nor will there be in the future. I make the statement to you in the most emphatic and unequivocal way.”

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/olympics/the-safe-games-judges-convinced-over-fukishima-fallout-fears-as-tokyo-wins-the-race-to-host-2020-olympics-8803505.html

Perhaps “safe games” is a clever

Cover for other endeavor:

To convince every nation

That nuke radiation

Is no problem whatsoever.

Suffering, and the End of Suffering

Suffering I shall show thee—

Simply look all around, and see;

And as you descend,

I’ll show suffering’s end:

Collapse into NTE. 

Galileo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_yet_it_moves

The universe moves in fixed grooves

Even when faith disapproves;

It’s more fun to pretend

That this isn’t the end:

Well, whatever—and yet it moves. 

An NTE State of Mind

It won’t matter, whatever you do,

But accepting that doom’s really true—

And there’s nowhere to flee

From the NTE—

Will change your whole point of view. 

If

If you can keep on the run,

And if you are not undone

By fallout and heat,

And you don’t need to eat,

You'll be a man my son!

The Rime of the Doomer Mariner

STAGE 1

IT is a Mariner of doom

Who upon the Guest does presume;

Wherefore stoppest thou me?

In the hall—look and see—

They’re marrying the Bride and the Groom!

The Guest heard the loud bassoon,

But was stuck with this grey-beard loon

Whose glittering eye

Made the Guest comply

And listen, like some dumb maroon.

The sweet life was coming along,

Like a heavenly angel’s song,

Or the sound of a flute;

But it all became moot

When I couldn’t deny what was wrong.

STAGE 2

An example of anger? I’ll try:

Well, this one time, the shit went awry,

And two hundred men,

Time and again,

Kept cursing me with their dead eye.

STAGE 3

Mariner, I fear thy eye,

But I’ll bargain to think death’s a lie;

Be calm, Wedding-Guest:

This is not just a test,

As you’ll see for yourself by and by.

STAGE 4

A weary time! How glazed each eye—

Perhaps even wanting to die;

Turning to drink,

Or consulting a shrink,

Or oftentimes wanting to cry.

STAGE 5

The moment that I could agree

That it’s over, then I could see

From a new point of view,

And the place where I grew

Hardly looked like mine own countree.

There’s this funny thing I go through:

I must tell some poor sucker doom’s true;

When his face I see,

I know who it will be,

And this time the sucker was you.

Having learned that the shit’s hit the fan,

The Guest had to change his life’s plan;

And he—stunned and forlorn—

Rose the morrow morn

A sadder and wiser man.