The Pre-Doomer’s Guide

Unexpectedly, doom will betide

The obvious truth you denied:

That everyone lied,

We’re about to be fried,

And you’re needing The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

The world upon which you relied

Will be gone when the doom hits worldwide;

It hits where you reside—

You’ll be wise to provide

Yourself with The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

This coming best-seller worldwide

Will be of help once you decide

That from what all’s implied,

It will be like we died;

It’s there in The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

The entrance to hell opens wide:

Abandon all hope for the ride;

You’ll be sitting inside

Charon’s boat as it’s plied—

Look it up in the Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

When thinking about suicide,

And why the hell you ever tried,

With labels applied

To grief stages inside,

There’s advice in the Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

And then there’s stuff people deride:

Like food to eat, both canned and dried,

Guns and ammo you hide,

The doomstead supplied—

This and more’s in The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

So when everything starts to slide

To the point you can no longer hide,

You’ll be glad you complied—

You’ll be prepping with pride!

All because of the The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

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(Originally posted Sunday, March 31, 2013)