Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Pre-Doomer’s Guide

Unexpectedly, doom will betide
The obvious truth you denied:
That everyone lied,
We’re about to be fried,
And you’re needing The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

The world upon which you relied
Will be gone when the doom hits worldwide;
It hits where you reside—
You’ll be wise to provide
Yourself with The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

This coming best-seller worldwide
Will be of help once you decide
That from what all’s implied,
It will be like we died;
It’s there in The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

The entrance to hell opens wide:
Abandon all hope for the ride;
You’ll be sitting inside
Charon’s boat as it’s plied—
Look it up in the Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

When thinking about suicide,
And why the hell you ever tried,
With labels applied
To grief stages inside,
There’s advice in the Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

And then there’s stuff people deride:
Like food to eat, both canned and dried,
Guns and ammo you hide,
The doomstead supplied—
This and more’s in The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

So when everything starts to slide
To the point you can no longer hide,
You’ll be glad you complied—
You’ll be prepping with pride!
All because of the The Pre-Doomer’s Guide.

(Originally posted Sunday, March 31, 2013)

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