Comfortably Numb

Going out comfortably numb

Might beat feeling constantly glum;

Since resistance is futile,

It might be less brutal

A way to the world that’s to come.

Dear Europe: Urine Trouble

Lots of people are really pissed:

Europe’s cash problems still persist;

Wee tell them, “Urine debt”

(Not a piddling threat!)—

“Perhaps you should call a Eurologist.”

On the Awesome Power of Doomer Poetry to Save the World

“The pen’s mightier than the sword”—

A belief that’s been ofttimes explored;

But now, despite writing

(Which beats even fighting!),

We’re still going to our reward.

Why I'm Writing These Limericks

Some doggerel’s je ne sais quoi

Could go viral and wake the bourgeois:

Sneaking under defenses,

Unease it dispenses

Introduces a mind coup d’etat.

My goal’s not great poetry, nah,

But to wake the world from its blah-blah;

Then disaster gets waived,

And we are all saved.

Bwahahahahahaha.

The Sixth Mass Extinction Event

Some people might circumvent

The worst, for some part of descent,

But our species can’t skirt

What none will avert:

The sixth mass extinction event.

Geologic Time

Our thoughts can get stressed, even twisted,

When geologic time is enlisted:

Our end’s almost here,

We’ll soon disappear,

Leaving no sign we ever existed.

Global Warming: Past the Tipping Point

The tipping point has been passed through,

There’s no way to stop what will ensue;

It’s baked into the cake,

And so it won’t make

Too much difference whatever we do.