Buying in Bulk

Shopping here in your store,

Is mostly a tiresome chore;

Let’s maintain rapport:

Don’t ask what it’s for,

Or I might not come back anymore.

Don’t give any thought my style,

And when I check out, simply smile;

Since I found this big pile

In your product aisle,

I won’t be back for awhile.

Power Outages

Without the electric they’re screwed,

Enough to give them a tude;

Imagine their mood

When they run out of food—

It’s going to get ugly, dude.

Stressed Out

When prepping still leaves me in doubt,

I think, as a doomer devout:

Once poo on fan splatters,

Then nothing much matters

(No wonder I’m getting stressed out).

Cyber Retreat

When you find that you’re feeling downbeat

And you see no results but defeat,

And there’s no one to greet

In the people you meet,

Then welcome to Cyber Retreat.

When you’re watching resources deplete

In steps both large and petite,

And from global heat

We’ll become obsolete,

Come on by Cyber Retreat.

Of course, there’ll be nothing to eat,

And we’re only walking dead meat,

But pull up a seat,

The price can’t be beat—

You’re welcome at Cyber Retreat.

Dylan on Doom

The times they are changing anew,

Shelter from the storm’s not in view;

Everything’s broken or rare,

And you’re going nowhere:

It’s all over now, baby blue.

Aging Doomer

Old age and doom woes kind of chime,

So it’s good if you’re well past your prime:

It’s energy efficient

So you’re more proficient

When you deal with both at the same time.

Healing

The honest physician strives

To improve other people’s lives,

Yet noble devotion

Finds no healing potion

When the final appointment arrives.

So the healer in us tries to stall

The judgment that’s writ on the wall,

But we merely reshape

What we cannot escape:

The sentence awaiting us all.