Kubler-Ross, Hope, and Human Extinction

“No matter the stage of illness or coping mechanisms used, all our patients maintained some form of hope until the last moment. Those patients who were told of their fatal diagnosis without a chance, without a sense of hope, reacted the worst and never quite reconciled themselves with the person who presented the news to them in this cruel manner. As far as our patients are concerned, all of them maintained some hope and it is well for us to remember this!”

—  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying, p. 264

Hope tells us we are so clever,

There’ll always be human endeavor;

But with doom, we must guide

To what it’s applied,

‘Cause our species won’t live forever.

Human hope has always been spun

Into all kinds of jobs to be done;

Due to limited roles

When choosing our goals,

Never dying cannot be one.

People will always have hope:

We evolved it in order to cope;

But now where it’s attached

Must be thoughtfully matched

And be of more limited scope.

Our drama stirred much to enthrall,

But most roles were surprisingly small;

When we’ve finished our page,

We’ll exit the stage:

We're really just mortals, after all.

With no immortality bases,

We might find hope in other places:

Much more Here and Now,

More I-and-Thou Tao,

And probably lots more embraces.

Hope urges us to repress

Thoughts which will cause us distress;

But in truth, I confess,

Making do with much less

Will be just one big fucking mess.

Serenity Pitch

Life’s fast becoming a bitch,

So I hope to learn what I can ditch:

Accept things I can’t change,

Those I can, rearrange,

And wisdom to know which is which.

Plan for the New Year: Popcorn and Beer

If events in the coming new year

Interfere with your current career,

And you see cracks appear

In the social veneer,

It’s time for popcorn and beer.

The frontier ahead is severe,

But before we all disappear

And doom comes so near

That we really feel fear,

It’s time for popcorn and beer.

It’s getting abundantly clear,

Times will become more austere;

So while things still cohere,

Let’s all be of good cheer:

It’s time for popcorn and beer.

Solstice Reflection

The solstice brings time for reflection,

Like, how there’ll be no course correction:

We’re headed for doom,

Via whimper or boom,

With no way to change our direction.

Kubler-Ross Denial

Enjoy the first stage while you can,

It’s a relaxing part of the plan;

‘Cause next comes Stage Two,

When the anger breaks through,

And then real shit hits the fan.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot

Like Christmas is going to be hot;

If your human-type meat

Can’t throw off the heat,

You might move to a cooler spot.

Merry Christmas

So now the final time’s here

That ever we’ll share Christmas cheer;

On the other hand,

By popular demand,

We go through this every year.

Professional Advice

As your counselor, I’d like to say

What to watch out for today:

Alcohol’s bad,

And drugs are bad,

And doom's REALLY bad, m’kay?

Mental Fortitude

Your mind is more likely to plow

Through derision, and never kowtow,

And hold to your vision

With less indecision

If you’ve been crazy up until now.

Are Doomers Crazy?

When collapse ratchets up a few notches

And clobbers us square in the crotches,

Though I’m going down too,

The idea might come through:

Who’s crazy now, beeotches?

Nuclear Meltdowns

Someday the whole grid will fail,

And there won’t be a way to derail

The meltdown heat

Which will leave no retreat

To continue the human tale.

For plants still in operation,

Unexpected electric cessation

Of short duration

Could cause activation

Of radioactive damnation.

Each abandoned reactor, no doubt,

Eventually will start to spout

Stuff which can spread

And make people dead

Once electric power runs out.

If people would just pay attention,

We could stop our wayward invention,

But not those threats forming,

Like global warming,

And others too many to mention.

South Park

In our world, doom options are many,

But if you don’t care for any,

Life in South Park is cool,

‘Cause there, as a rule,

The only one killed is Kenny.

If Methane Goes Nuts

If methane really goes nuts,

It will be a quick kick in the guts;

Though we might not agree

On the time and degree,

It’s coming, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Why Kubler-Ross

It’s not very easy admitting

We’re walking dead, right where we’re sitting;

But this issue’s the crux,

And, while facing it sucks,

It makes Kubler-Ross very fitting.

Methane Doomsday Machine

Methane releases might mean

The end of the whole Holocene:

We’ll become obsolete

‘Cause we burned stuff for heat

And triggered a doomsday machine.

There Will Be Panic

"...when the world recognizes—widely recognizes—that there’s a problem, there’s going to be panic that takes place."

—Dr. Robert Hirsch, at 10:37 in the interview:

http://www.financialsense.com/financial-sense-newshour/guest-expert/2011/12/15/robert-l-hirsch-phd/we-are-staring-directly-into-energy-storm-in-next-2-3-years

The response will be galvanic

When there’s nothing to eat that’s organic;

WTSHTF

And it’s last standing man,

People are going to panic.

Global Warming Inconvenience

The idea is pretty succinct,

Though it’s based on a lot of things linked:

Consensus is forming

We can’t stop the warming

So humans are going extinct.

Holiday Shopping

There’s not too much money to shop,

So it’s likely that sales are a flop;

That’s what scant new implies,

Because otherwise

We’d be hearing about it nonstop. 

Limericks Save the World

We might save the world writing limericks

Listing our choice of survival picks,

Or else simply lurk,

‘Cause nothing will work—

Unless you know of some other tricks.

Global Warming Treaty

A compromise starts off the gag,

But the road map could hit a small snag;

Should the protocol drag,

The treaty will lag—

It’s practically in the bag.

A Nation of Homer Simpsons

"...we have truly become a nation full of Homer Simpsons."

http://billhicksisdead.blogspot.com/2011/12/snow-cones-for-homeland-security.html

What I’m doing at work isn’t clear,

But a crisis is nothing to fear:

If the plant starts to glow,

I simply say, “D’oh!”

And focus on donuts and beer.

Somebody to Blame

The poor say the rich are to blame,

The rich make the opposite claim;

If there’s need to deplore,

For those keeping score:

We all played a part in the game.

Focus

To better manage our fears

About aspects of doom as it nears,

It helps to steer clear

Of what won’t persevere

Or matter within a few years.

Global Warming Conference

Insisting on personal gain

Is why we’ll all swirl down the drain;

We're not worthy! No way!

Excellent! Way!

Party on, Garth. Party on, Wayne.

Comfortably Numb

Going out comfortably numb

Might beat feeling constantly glum;

Since resistance is futile,

It might be less brutal

A way to the world that’s to come.

Dear Europe: Urine Trouble

Lots of people are really pissed:

Europe’s cash problems still persist;

Wee tell them, “Urine debt”

(Not a piddling threat!)—

“Perhaps you should call a Eurologist.”

On the Awesome Power of Doomer Poetry to Save the World

“The pen’s mightier than the sword”—

A belief that’s been ofttimes explored;

But now, despite writing

(Which beats even fighting!),

We’re still going to our reward.

Why I'm Writing These Limericks

Some doggerel’s je ne sais quoi

Could go viral and wake the bourgeois:

Sneaking under defenses,

Unease it dispenses

Introduces a mind coup d’etat.

My goal’s not great poetry, nah,

But to wake the world from its blah-blah;

Then disaster gets waived,

And we are all saved.

Bwahahahahahaha.

The Sixth Mass Extinction Event

Some people might circumvent

The worst, for some part of descent,

But our species can’t skirt

What none will avert:

The sixth mass extinction event.

Geologic Time

Our thoughts can get stressed, even twisted,

When geologic time is enlisted:

Our end’s almost here,

We’ll soon disappear,

Leaving no sign we ever existed.

Global Warming: Past the Tipping Point

The tipping point has been passed through,

There’s no way to stop what will ensue;

It’s baked into the cake,

And so it won’t make

Too much difference whatever we do.

Global Warming: Nothing Matters Anymore

Once people figure out the score,

Who knows what horror’s in store?

But which way we descend,

We will find the same end;

Nothing really matters anymore.

Long-term Survival Retreat

An elite retreat would be neat,

Where you won’t become obsolete

If you like the sensation

Of nuke radiation,

And tolerate really high heat.

Dow’s Up, All’s Right with the World

Mammon, our God, shall bestow

A status quo chock full of dough;

How do I know?

From the stock market show:

The Dow-Bible tells me so.

How to Assess Predictions

Attention, doomer alert!

If you see an attempt to assert

Any future news

Which ignores collapse views:

It’s useless, and will only divert.

It’s No Lie—Methane

It’s been running around in my brain,

Who knows? Maybe I’ll go insane;

Would you like to know why?

Cause it’s coming, no lie,

It’s no lie, it’s no lie—methane.

Bad news as we swirl down the drain:

Our thing will be gone, leaving pain;

Lethal methane is nigh,

Big supply, it’s no lie,

It’s no lie, it’s no lie—methane.

There’s no way that we can detain

Disaster, the experts explain;

Instead of a high,

We will die, it’s no lie,

It’s no lie, it’s no lie—methane.

Black Friday

Required for pre-Christmas runs:

A weapon that does more than stuns;

When you go shopping,

Duck if there's popping,

‘Cause next time they’re carrying guns.

Happy Thanksgiving

A doomer might seem a bit quirky

To come on with wishes so perky,

But be of good cheer

While the good times are here,

And enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey.

Another Mars Rover

Hooray! We’re going to Mars,

If there’s methane, we’ll hand out cigars—

But discreetly ignore

What we should explore

Here on earth, not out in the stars.

Methane Is Bubbling

Here comes the methane: it’s troubling,

Your woes are, at minimum, doubling;

It will chomp on your brain,

And make you insane,

Bubbling, bubbling, bubbling....

Job Creators

They say they’re the job creators,

Worth much more than, let’s say, waiters;

If that is their claim,

Then they’re also to blame

Now, as the economy craters.

Acceptance, Not Resignation

A progress evaluation

Might reflect some good adaptation;

In making a link,

I’d much rather think

It’s acceptance, and not resignation.

The Tale of the St. Matthew Deer

Listen my children, and hear

How their island became their bier,

Take a seat, lend an ear,

You might shed a tear

At the tale of the St. Matthew deer.

Overshoot, when it came near,

Made their privation severe;

Through conditions austere,

It made disappear

The whole herd of St. Matthew deer.

They never will reappear;

Even if they did persevere,

Some nuclear sear

Plus a Venus-like sphere

Means no more St. Matthew deer.

Doubter, hold back your sneer,

‘Cause we’re right at that same frontier,

And it’s all very clear:

There goes our career,

The way of the St. Matthew deer.

We’ve Triggered a Doomsday Machine

Breakdown in upkeep routine

From grid failure wasn’t foreseen;

We wont’t stop emission

From nuclear fission—

We’ve triggered a Doomsday Machine.

Keeping Plans Secret

In the battle to stand as last man,

It’s awkward to admit that your plan

Is designed to derive

What you need to survive

By stealing whatever you can.

Coping Mechanism

When I hit an emotional patch

For which I know I’m no match,

I make things abstract

To not overreact;

My solution is to detach.

Last Minute Plans

When doom hits, one place I won’t be

Is on a last-minute shopping spree,

With the fights and confusion—

I’ll be in seclusion,

Eating popcorn and watching TV.

Peak Psychological Adaptation

Our minds have a tribal foundation,
Evolved in that unique situation;

We could think of those days 

As a peak with the phrase

Peak Psychological Adaptation.

Oops! I’ve Forgotten the Third

When the end comes, so I have heard,

The instructions are three, word for word:

Bend over, get near;

Pucker up by your rear;

And...oops! I’ve forgotten the third.

Morality

Morals are consensus trance tools

For socialization schools,

But we’ll learn Jungle Law,

Red in tooth and in claw,

Doesn’t honor our ethical rules.

Understanding Global Warming

Understanding what is our lot—

Like how it will get way too hot—

Is, as Upton once said,

Hard to get through your head

When your salary depends on your not.

Hooray for Fracking

Hooray! Lets all go a-fracking,

Ignore the shaking and cracking;

Hooray for the drilling—

Who cares what we’re spilling?

Hooray for the lifestyle they’re backing.

Politicians Changing Positions

When somebody doesn’t leave clues

To explain an about-face in views,

Perhaps they were swayed

By someone who made

An offer they couldn’t refuse.

Extinction of Intelligent Life

Sixth Extinction means human demise,

‘Cause the earth will run out of supplies;

Although we will dissolve,

Something new might evolve—

Complex life might again yet arise.

If not here on earth, then extending

Our viewpoint, some life form’s ascending—

Some self-aware race

Somewhere out there in space—

If the cosmos is never-ending.

Surely some sentient wit

Will survive to avoid an obit;

The whole universe

Can’t become one big hearse—

If it does, oh well, then that’s it.

Buying in Bulk

Shopping here in your store,

Is mostly a tiresome chore;

Let’s maintain rapport:

Don’t ask what it’s for,

Or I might not come back anymore.

Don’t give any thought my style,

And when I check out, simply smile;

Since I found this big pile

In your product aisle,

I won’t be back for awhile.

Power Outages

Without the electric they’re screwed,

Enough to give them a tude;

Imagine their mood

When they run out of food—

It’s going to get ugly, dude.

Stressed Out

When prepping still leaves me in doubt,

I think, as a doomer devout:

Once poo on fan splatters,

Then nothing much matters

(No wonder I’m getting stressed out).

Cyber Retreat

When you find that you’re feeling downbeat

And you see no results but defeat,

And there’s no one to greet

In the people you meet,

Then welcome to Cyber Retreat.

When you’re watching resources deplete

In steps both large and petite,

And from global heat

We’ll become obsolete,

Come on by Cyber Retreat.

Of course, there’ll be nothing to eat,

And we’re only walking dead meat,

But pull up a seat,

The price can’t be beat—

You’re welcome at Cyber Retreat.

Dylan on Doom

The times they are changing anew,

Shelter from the storm’s not in view;

Everything’s broken or rare,

And you’re going nowhere:

It’s all over now, baby blue.

Aging Doomer

Old age and doom woes kind of chime,

So it’s good if you’re well past your prime:

It’s energy efficient

So you’re more proficient

When you deal with both at the same time.

Healing

The honest physician strives

To improve other people’s lives,

Yet noble devotion

Finds no healing potion

When the final appointment arrives.

So the healer in us tries to stall

The judgment that’s writ on the wall,

But we merely reshape

What we cannot escape:

The sentence awaiting us all.

Peak Population?

It's last dance for every civilian

At The Party's Over Cotillion;

While peak population

Awaits confirmation,

At least we reached seven billion.

Trees

I’m thinking that I’ll never see

A poem as nice as a tree,

But looking ahead,

Pretty soon they’ll be dead—

Come to think of it, so will we.

Go to the Ant, Consider Her Ways

Go to the ant, consider her ways

(She’s a template for hard work cliches),

One misplaced large foot:

Tiny squish, she’s kaput;

No reward at the end of her days.

Both heaven and karma declare:

Just be good, and you’ll end your despair;

But without such disguise

From your own lying eyes

You can clearly see life isn’t fair.

So what, you may ask, is the reason

For this psychological lesion?

Most likely some widget

(Like opposable digit),

In this case, for social cohesion.

Climate Change

Climate change has evolved

To a problem your mind wants resolved;

Cognitive dissonance
Becomes less intense

By accepting it cannot be solved.

If the World Were Ending Tomorrow

I’d call a few folks on the phone

To talk about old times we’ve known;

If our last day were here

There’d be nothing to fear,

So I’d say things I used to postpone.

Paradigm Shift

A paradigm shift’s underway

As optimism turns to dismay;

The past used to be worst,

Now the order’s reversed:

Tomorrow will be worse than today.

Hierarchy Is Here to Stay

Hierarchy is here to stay,

It’s evolved law we can't disobey;

If we want to egress

Somehow out of this mess

We must change things in some other way.

Peak Euro

The news from our Europe-based bureau

Is painted chiaroscuro;

Look away from the light

Where predictions are bright—

Voila! You can make out Peak Euro.

Hope

When life becomes fully infernal,

It makes sense to close up the jounal;

Problem solved, but alas

(And this chaps my ass):

The way we’re built, hope springs eternal.

Why Read This?

We should be all filled up with gloom

Because of our problems which loom;

Since we’re thus ensnared,

We can get more prepared

By learning some more about doom.

Ecclesiastes

(Ecclesiastes 1:2; 3:1-2; 4:2-3; 9-11)

The suffering throughout humanity
Is meaningless, senseless insanity;
As the Preacher teaches
In useful speeches:
Vanity, all is vanity.

We try very hard to deny
That Nature’s laws always apply;
For each species’ season,
By faith or by reason,
There’s a time to be born — and to die.

A good way for guaranteeing
That misery’s not what you’re fleeing,
The old prophets forewarn,
Is to never be born
And avoid coming into being.

We race, but know not when we’ll fall
Or who’ll end up hitting a wall
We seldom are right
To claim second sight
For time and chance happen to all.

The Abyss

I knew there was something amiss,
So I looked into the abyss;
Looked full in the maw,
Didn’t like what I saw
And returned to avoidance bliss.

The truth of my limericks is this:
While it helps an old man reminisce,
It’s just being civil
With meaningless drivel
To help me avoid the abyss.

The abyss, where one must be sincere,
Is a place to stare through the veneer;
But the way it stared back,
So like an attack,
Was too much, so I came back to here.

I went back to see the abyss
Still hoping to find me some bliss;
Its stare had me beat,
I had to retreat
And write wretched drivel like this.