Diagnosing Doomers

To find out your diagnosis,

And even a likely prognosis:

If your head’s into doom,

Go ahead and assume

The answer will be psychosis.

For instance, consider IQ:

If you’ve ever heard of Baku,

Something’s wrong with your brain,

You must be insane,

Or at minimum, just feeling blue.

Or check out your Myers-Briggs type,

Narrowed down to your personal stripe;

Despite a facade,

Folks will think that you’re odd,

And someone at whom they can snipe.

And then there’s the MMPI,

Which will work till the world starts to fry;

It’s not just a quirk,

You’re completely berserk,

If it matters before we all die.

As the final door of doom shuts,

And everyone loses their butts,

For reasons climatic,

You’ll be symptomatic

And people will think that you’re nuts.